Sadistic Hag
nThe Sadistic Hag is the most terrifying creature ever to have existed in creation. The only known encounters with this creature have come after the stealing of a "Blue Potion". The Sadistic Hag is Magic Hag's alter ego. She is only switched when a code blue occurs, this always results in the perpetrator of the Code Blue activity being killed. The Singularity The Sadistic Hag can move at 13,000 kps when aggravated by a code blue. These massive speeds produce a singularity which allows sadistic hag to get to the perpitrator before, after, and at the same time as the perpatrator is drinking the stolen blue potion. The prescence of this singularity causes massive damage to the time space continuum, effectively swallowing a large part of the multiverse. The swallowed part of the multiverse then becomes part of an alternate reality where the color blue is completely ommited. Sadistic Hags Appearance No one has ever actually seen the sadistic Hag because of her extreme speed but it is theorized that she is a completely blue witch riding on a rocket powered broom with a string of severed heads and blue potions trailing behind her. After killing the "blue potion" thief the sadistic hag returns to default hag. The potion shop is then closed until Magic Hag returns from wherever sadistic hag took her, which usually takes about a year. Known Ocurrences of the Sadistic Hag The sadistic hag becomes active about once every ten years. Below is a full list of all occurences. *1743- Magic Hag's first ever customer repetatively asked for a "blue potion" and complained when told they were not in stock. He then grabbed the displayed "blue potion" and tried to escape on horseback. The Sadistic Hag caught the thief in 0.0007 miliseconds. The horse was hagified. *1758- A burglar broke into the potion shop while magic hag was napping and sneaked into the back of the potion shop. He went to the hag's rupee vault, but while trying to open the safe, he knocked over a "blue potion", shattering it. The hag then woke up and turned sadistic, brutally slaughtering the thief. *1765- A shipment of "blue potions" was raided by the notorious bandits, The Blue Army. When the hag learned of this event, and the name of the bandits she turned Sadistic and traveled to their hideout, killing all of them instantly. *September 16, 1787 - Magic Hag joins the founding fathers of the newly developed country of the United States of America at the signing of the constitution. After Thomas Jefferson refused to allow Magic Hag to sign the Constitution, claiming that she was "a being of sole harm and wastefulness to the interest of the American people", she turned sadistic and destroyed the Constitution, killing all signing members. After this, Magic Hag rewrote the Constitution as a whole, writing only the same words "no blue potions" on the paper, as well as adding a hidden message to the Constitution when held up in light saying "Drinking and/or possessing a Blue Potions is unpatriotic and may be charged with treason" *1780- While Magic Hag was traveling back from the previous event a group of vandals painted "Blue Potions ARE in stock!!" on the front of the potion shop in blue paint. They then ran into the shop, breaking everything they saw with baseball bats. They thought that because the Hag was missing for the last 15 years, that they would be safe. They were wrong. Magic Hag killed all but one of them. That one that survived was sucked through the hag's singularity and was stringed out, atom by atom, it is believed that he is still stuck in the singularity, and will be until the end of time. *1793- A customer, while purchasing red and green potions tripped over magic hag's computer and smashed the displayed blue potion, accidentally but Magic Hag still killed him (somehow computers existed in this time period). *1806- A customer came into the shop and demanded revenge for his uncle that had been killed by Sadistic Hag. He killed Magic Hag and then burned down the potion shop. This blaze killed many "blue potions" and this traumatic activity revived the hag and she killed the vengeful person. *1818- A book called "Hagenstein" by Mary Haggy was published with a "Blue Potion" on the cover and a marketing deal where if you pay an extra $300 you can meet the hag. Magic Hag saw the book and went sadistic, threatening the author with death if she didn't change it. Magic Hag meant to change the cover but the author took it to mean take the hag completely out of the book, and she did. This book is now considered a classic. *1831- A thief broke into the potion shopand kidnapped the hag's sister to use as a hostage. *1832- Magic Hag noticed her sisters abscence and went out to search for in the woods outside her shop. She then noticed a message taped to her broom. It was a ransom note, Magic Hag's sister for a taste of a "blue potion" ( NOTE: Magic Hag can only read the words "blue potion" she saw these words and turned into sadistic hag, who can read). This led to a hostage crisis during which the Hag hid all of her "blue potions" in her high security vault, and went to confront the kidnapper. Magic Hag then killed the kidnapper and fell asleep. *1842- Someone caused a rebellion in the Beta Universe caused by the Hag's singularity. The purpose of this rebellion was to overthrow the hag's minions and recover "The Lost Color" for their civilization. The leader of the hag's minions in the Beta Universe, known as the Male Hag traveled through a magic portal to tell the hag about this. After 10 minutes of just standing there thinking, Magic Hag realized that the "Lost Color" was blue. This caused her to shift into sadistic Hag and travel into the singularity and end the rebellion by killing everyone involved in it. *1869- Magic Hag finally returns to the Alpha universe and find's out that while she was gone a new potion selling company has popped up and is selling all types of potions, including "blue potions" Magic Hag gainede some temporary intelligence from traveling to the Beta universe and decided to prove that the opposing company had stolen her patended potion recipe. With this in mind Magic Hag applied to the company for the position of potion brewer. She was accepted for the position and began to climb the corporate ladder. 3 years later, she was the head brewer at the rival potion shop and had access to the secret "blue potion" recipe. It was exactly the same as hers, so she reported this to the police and got the company leaders arrested. While they were in jail her temporary intelligence wore off and she realized that she had to kill the recipe thiefs and then she turned sadistic and killed them all while they were in court. *1885- A world infamous thief who usually steals priceless(isn't it funny how you can buy things that are supposedly priceless?) pieces of jewelry want's to be remembered so he planned a robbery on the potion shop. He tries to tunnel beneath the potion shop but runs into the ladder that leads to the hag's vault. He uses explosives to break into the shaft and descends all 15 kilometers to the inside of the vault and finds... "Blue Potions" so old they have turned into solid diamonds! The thief tries to drink one but because it is not a liquid, he chokes to death, but dies filthy rich. He drops the crystal potion, which shatters into a billion pieces, causing sadistic hag to appear and haggify the corpse, making it her eternal slave. *1900- Magic Hag miscounted her potions, finding one less than she actually has and initiating a "blue potion" ritual and began to kidnap deku scrubs and sacrificed them to the "potion lord" to compensate for the missing "blue potion". However she realized that the missing one she miscounted was actually that of a Green Potion. This prompted the Hag to turn Sadistic and destroyed everything near and almost killed her sister until she calmed down with her sister giving her a "blue potion". * 1911- A group of 6 suicide bombers attempted to blow up the potion shop but only 2 of the 6 were able to detonate the bombs while the others malfunctioned. They blew off the support beams and the potion shop fell onto the ground, with the impact shattering all "blue potions" inside. Magic Hag transformed into Sadistic Hag and began to haggify each and every remaining suicide bomber. After she finished she ripped off the heads of them and started to dance around their heads. * September 18, 1939- A group of Nazis somehow transported to Termina and learned of the "blue potion" they shortly launched an air bombing onto the potion shop and sent ground troops, hoping to steal the "blue potion" recipe and make Nazi troops immortal to win the war. 27 Bombs were dropped onto the potion shop, the bombing causing a nearby "blue potion" to crack 1 cm long. Magic Hag instantaneously went sadistic and killed all 49 ground troops and destroyed all 17 Messerschmit Bf 109's. * November 15, 1939- A second group of 247 Messerschmit Bf 109's returned to Termina and were sent to attack the potion shop a second time. 14,282 Nazi troops were deployed to secure the shop when one of the troops shot a bullet at the hag's face and ricoched onto the displayed "blue potion" on the counter. Magic Hag turned sadistic and cast a protection spell over her shop and launched a sadistic hag attack which caused all bombs to explode, the blast radius having vaporized anything within 80 miles. Magic hag regenerated and removed the protection spell, however her sister was gravely injured since she was not smart enough to protect her sister. Magic Hag offered to heal her sister for the price of 999 rupees. * 1945- The Japanese somehow, very intelligently, discovered the "blue potion" recipe and because it is a miracle drug that can cure anything they decided to start mass producing the "blue potions". The Japanese started producing the "blue potions" in two large factories in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the hag found out about this, and the rest is history. * 1987- This event became famously known as the "Haggifying of '87". This event took place inside a nearby Chuck E. Cheese where Magic Hag was working part time since her shop was closed down due to health conditions. She was in a Mr. Munch costume at a birthday party when she noticed that a child spilled their blue soda drink (which is now known to be gatorade) and went sadistic, thinking that it was a blue potion. She instantaneously took off the suit and started haggifying (scissoring) the child on the frontal lobe. The authorities soon arrived but the hag got away. A 90-day investigation took place searching for the Magic Hag and bring her to justice. Little to no evidence was found to her trail and the investigation was called off only 2 weeks in. 3 days after the investigation she returned to the Chuck E. Cheese where she began to haggify everyone inside and blew up the restaurant. Security noticed and called the National Guard. A total of 30 tanks, 50 Buzzard Helicopters, 300 Police Vehicles (and police) and 300 Ground troops surrounded the Hag. She began an assault on the Tanks but failed as she was shot instantly. She died, but the crumbling of the restaurant crushed the drink that MH thought was a "blue potion" even more and she revived. As seen in the 1st image, she annihilated the whole area and destroyed everything. She flew back to her Potion Shop while whistling the Magic Hags' Potion Shop theme. * 2014 - Magic Hag discovered that she wasn't going to be in Smash 4, this caused her to turn sadistic and create a fuss. * 2015 - The Hag was disappointed once again when she found out that she wasn't going to be in any Smash 4 DLC, thus causing her to turn sadistic. * 2015 - This event is quite recent. The Magic Hag was taking inventory of her potions while playing Minecraft when she discovered a water bottle which looked like an in-game "blue potion" to the Hag. She immediately turned Sadistic and filed for suing 4j Studios and Microsoft. Notch himself was in the courtroom at the time of the investigation and told MH that what she saw was a water bottle, and was collected by putting water in an empty bottle. Notch then counter-sued MH for stealing HIS appearance of water bottles in place for 'blue potions'. The trial of the millennium began and the Hag knew nothing about court. She lost the case but was only charged with a minor felony. Notch was then awarded $2 for winning the case. In response, MH became sadistic and blew up the court house. Luckily, no one was killed but everyone was injured. MH then went back to the potion shop and switched to the console version of Minecraft. * February, DATE, 2016 - In celebration of Black History Month, Magic Hag decided to sell all potions for free (except Blue Potions of course). To her surprise, she gained hundreds of customers asking for red and green potions. However, the group known as ''"Black Lives Matter" ''rioted her shop, claiming that the hag was a racist individual because she didn't sell potions to African-Americans. The Hag handled the situation with frustration, claiming that she only sold her potions to humans and that she is not racist (in reality she is flat out stating that she doesn't consider African-Americans to be people). In response, the group began to beat the hag and vandalize her shop. The group demanded that she create a "black" potion just for them and if she did, then they might spare her. The hag was forced to make black potions. The key feature of a black potion is poisoning/self-harm, so when she let the group drink the potions, they all died. However, one group member survived and rushed to call the police (Wait a minute, I thought they hated the police), in response, this caused the Hag to turn sadistic and kill that person. The explosion created a 200 mile radius, haggifying all of Detroit. * April 1, 2016 - Magic Hag realized that it was April Fool's. She decided to travel to the United States of America to pull a harmless "prank". However, this quickly turned bad. She brought with her 3 bombs, all of which were set to detonate at 12:00 PM. One was placed in New York, another in Washington D.C., and the last one in Washington. Luckily, the FBI had known of the Hag's plan and successfully kept the bombs from detonating. When apprehended, the Hag simply said "It's just a prank, bro." She was later sentenced to prison for life. During the trial, she argued that this was racism because she was a Hag. After being ordered to sit down by the Judge, she turned sadistic and blew up the court room. * November 8, 2016 - Having been a lifelong Trump supporter, Magic Hag celebrated Donald Trump's election victory in the streets of New York, where she was promptly confronted by Liberals, Democrats, and, most notably, ANTIFA, claiming that she was a racist, sexist, mysoginistic nazi bigot. After explaining that she only voted for Trump because his partys color was red. In response, ANTIFA members began spraying her with pepper spray and beating the hag for having an opinion that differed from their own. After the Hag noticed a man wearing a blue Bernie Sanders shirt spilt his drink on it, she quickly turned sadistic and began having a seizure on the man (or woman whatever they're called) and started to haggify him. This process was interrupted, however, by local law enforcement. After realising that the man didn't intend to provoke the Hag and was simply a bystander unknowing of the Hag's BLUE code, she calmed down. This is the first known instance in all of history where Magic Hag turned sadistic without killing or injuring anyone.